1649 days after your death
Something you never told me. Something I never have. I need to come back.
Just say that again.
I couldn’t wait no more. Not even one day. It went too far away.
Please let me stay. Not in your heart. Not in your life. Just in your world. I would be glad if I could just look at you.
Nobody has to know. Believe me.
Nothing would ever be the same. Let me go away. Let… no. I can not go away.
I’m feeling locked inside this room.
Say it ever and ever again. Words don’t make sense.
Again and again and again. Like music. Drums. Betting deeply into my chest.
Wherever you go, I’ll be with you. As a memory. As a ghost. Haunting you. Loving you.
Will you ever forgive me?
It’s an illusion. I’m hallucinating. Do you know that I keep crying for you? Every single night.
I live that day everytime I dream. I can watch him rip you and rape you. Throw away your soul, deep down in the ocean. With me. But it just… didn’t come to surface again.
I don’t know how I’m still living.
I wish we could do it again. There will be mercy. Tell me why it was so wrong. It really screws up everything. My fault. Again.
No, I don’t think there is a world outside of you.
It makes me sick. Psychotic. Paranoid. Hallucinated.
But dream with you it’s so pleasant. I felt so alive. Just like if you apologized me. Just like if you’re here.
They always say that nothing would ever be the same. They’re right. They’re so damn right. It’s all about you. It always was about you.
The things you never told me. And the words that now I’m wasting away. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m seeing you here, so clear… My vision of you. So beautiful...
Hell with tears! I don’t wanna cry ever again. You’re here, you’re always here.
Doesn’t matter what they say. You’re so forgiven.
Forgive me now. I need you. I need that past. All the bad things, I don’t care. Because I had you.
Now I don’t. I’m dreaming the dream of you. Just like every night. Someone call the doctor. Psychiatric doctors.
I didn’t throw a rose to the stage. No, and I loved see you dance.
But a let a dozen in your grave. And killed me watch you die.
It’s too late. So late…
Come to bed with me. I want you in my arms. I want your lips in my mouth. I want your hands in my skin, your head in my chest. I need to hold you. I need to feel you.
Was it so irrelevant and what’s why you didn’t tell me?
It’s really not important now. Just come to sleep with me again. I can see you crossing the door. You want to fell me too. This love so intense under your hands.
I should have known you said it for real.
Say it again and I will believe. I will know.
Come to me. Step by step. Hold my hand. Caught my tears. Yes, clean my eyes. I need to see you. You’re a vision of heaven. Literally.
Now you’re a truly angel.
Please come back to save me. I love you.
Until the end.
Kevin Dawner
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